How NOT to Waste Your 20s

Being in your 20s is a weird and confusing time. Technically, you're an adult—you’re no longer a teenager—but you definitely don’t feel like you have life figured out. You don’t know anything at 20, yet everyone treats you like you should have it all together. It’s the time when you start realizing that life is truly sink or swim.

I read a crazy statistic that said 75% of people experience a quarter-life crisis. That means three out of four people wake up one day, look at their life, and think, What the hell am I doing? This is not the life I signed up for. I don’t even know who I am. I don’t like my job. This sucks. And then they crash out and start making all kinds of wild decisions.

I’ve been there myself. I quit my jobs (plural), moved to Miami to start a business with my friend, and then got sued by Apple, hit by COVID, and ended up in an insane car crash. That experience completely changed how I look at life. Now, as I approach 30, I want to share a few things I wish I had known in my early 20s that would have made life a lot easier.

Rethink the Narrative About School

School had us believing that we needed to find one job, stick with it forever, or else we’d be failures. It also made us think that not going to college would doom us. But that’s simply not true.

The only real formula for success is time plus ambition.

In today’s world, you don’t need a college degree to be successful. The internet has created limitless opportunities. What you really need is time to explore what works for you. That’s why, if you’re in your early 20s, you should take time to figure out what you truly want.

Nobody asks kids what they want. People just tell them what they should want. But you have to pause and ask yourself: What does happiness look like for me?

Your answer might suck because you’re young and still figuring things out, but just asking this question is crucial. It helps you learn how to think for yourself. I didn’t start thinking for myself until I was 23, and by that time, I had already wasted four years on a degree I never planned to use.

I’m not saying college is bad. I’m saying that you need to ensure it actually adds value to your life. If you want to be a doctor, yes, you need college. But if you’re unsure about your path—don’t go yet. Take time to explore. Look at people whose lives inspire you. Reach out to them, ask about their journey, and make your decisions with you in mind—not based on pressure from society, family, or outdated expectations.

Build Meaningful Friendships

Making friends in your 20s can be tough, but having the right people around you is essential. Friends are more than just people to hang out with—they’re your tribe. They’ll celebrate your wins, help you through hard times, and inspire you.

The best way to make friends? Be someone that people want to be around.

Leave the “poor me” mentality in your teens. People care about how you make them feel, not about your endless complaints. I had a friend who constantly talked about everything wrong in her life. Over time, we drifted apart because every conversation was draining. People naturally avoid negativity.

Instead, focus on other people. Ask them about their lives. Make them feel seen. If you do this enough, people will gravitate toward you because they enjoy how you make them feel. This applies to friendships and dating.

Date—Casually and Seriously

Dating in your 20s can be wild, but you should do it. Dating helps you grow up emotionally. Many people carry the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old well into their late 20s. The best way to outgrow that is through relationships.

Nothing forces self-reflection more than someone you care about pointing out your flaws. At first, you might be defensive. But after hearing the same feedback repeatedly, you’ll (hopefully) realize there are things you need to change. That’s how emotional growth happens.

So, experience the relationships, the breakups, the getting back together, and the heartbreaks. Each one will make you more emotionally mature and self-aware.

Invest in Yourself: Health, Wealth, and Happiness

If there’s one thing to prioritize in your 20s, it’s investing in yourself. This means focusing on three key areas:

1. Health

Your body is the foundation of everything. I learned this while working at a physical therapy rehab center, where I saw people in their 60s who could barely walk. Many weren’t even that old—they were just suffering because they neglected their health.

Start building small, healthy habits now. Work out at least four times a week. Stay active. Eat well. Your quality of life depends on it. You don’t want to wake up at 50, realizing that simple tasks like walking up the stairs are a struggle.

2. Wealth

I’m no financial advisor, but here’s basic advice that nobody told me: Invest any amount of money, no matter how small.

Even if it’s just $20 a month, open a mutual fund and start investing. Time flies in your 20s, and in a few years, that small investment could grow into something substantial. Over time, as you earn more, you can increase the amount. Your future self will thank you.

Also, be smart with your spending. I know people who live comfortably on $60,000 a year and others who struggle while making $125,000. The difference? Smart money habits.

3. Happiness

Investing in happiness is just as important as health and wealth. One of the best ways to do this is by developing a hobby or skill—something you love doing just for the sake of it.

Hobbies make you a more interesting person and help you stay grounded. Whether it’s music, fitness, gaming, movies, or art, find something that excites you. It gives you a sense of purpose outside of work and relationships and can even lead to new friendships or career opportunities.

Go Easy on Yourself

Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. Nobody really knows what they’re doing. We’re all figuring it out. The only difference between my 20-year-old self and me now is a whole lot of experience.

Your 20s can be a confusing time, but you are in control of your life. You have the power to make smart decisions, invest in yourself, and set yourself up for success. The key is to be intentional about how you spend your time and energy.

So take a deep breath. You’ve got this. And if there’s anything from this article that resonates with you or a topic you’d like me to dive deeper into, let me know. Your 20s are yours to dominate—if you choose to.

You are your own last hope.

Thanks for reading,
J-Hopes

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